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When I was 4 or 5 years old, my mother sat me down to teach me about my “private parts.” She highlighted the female anatomy, explained good toileting habits, and described the menstrual cycle. I didn’t understand much, but I remember hanging on to her every word about vaginal health.
As a teen, my mom and I only briefly discussed vaginal care. She stressed the importance of keeping my “lady parts” clean. She also explained the difference between a pad and a tampon. But open discussions about vaginal discharge, safe sex, or the do’s and don’ts of proper feminine hygiene was something my no-nonsense Jamaican mother wasn’t comfortable doing.
Mothers have a huge responsibility in helping to shape sexually confident young women. But with my mom’s conservative upbringing, I realize how awkward these conversations would have been (for both of us).
So as a forty-something who has finally mastered my vaginal health (I think). Here is a list of 3 things I wish my mom would’ve taught me about my vagina:
1. Simplicity is Key for Vaginal Health and Hygiene
My mother always emphasized cleaning my vagina to minimize odor. But she didn’t explain or (perhaps know) the best way to do that. Truthfully, the vagina is self-cleaning. That yellow or whitish stain you see in your panties- it keeps your vagina healthy and clean. While it’s perfectly acceptable to clean your vulva- (your outside parts), stay away from sprays, washes, or douches. These products can cause more harm than good, leaving your vagina dry, irritated, or infected. Use a mild soap and water to clean, rinse thoroughly, and pat dry before putting on some clean cotton underwear.
2. How to Use a Condom
Ok, so you can’t exactly wrap your vagina, but you can protect it. I wish my mom would have stressed the importance of using condoms every time I had sex. Honestly, I don’t remember her ever explaining what a condom was or how to use it, so I’m grateful for the mandatory sex ed classes that I had to sit through year after year.
Once upon a time, women were made to feel shame for carrying condoms, but no lie, with what’s happening today- it’s become a necessity. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are at an all-time high, and I know too many women who have received an unwanted infection from that one-time hook-up.
Sexually transmitted infections are passed from one person to another through oral, anal, or vaginal sex. Often, many people don’t display any signs or symptoms of infection or may only have mild symptoms that are easily ignored. So, using a condom consistently every time you have sex is key. Condoms are easily accessible and won’t break the bank. You can pick them up at your local pharmacy, grab a couple from your doctor’s office, or find a local organization that offers them for free or at a minimal cost.
3. Period Changes After the Baby
This is a biggie. So, you think that my mom watching me push a whole baby out of my adult vagina would have been enough to spark a conversation about what really happens to your period after giving birth. But it didn’t. As a breastfeeding momma, I didn’t see my period for about 9 months after having a baby (insert happy dance). This was great until the day my period actually showed up. My once predictable 28-day period was replaced with a 40-day cycle that dragged on for eight days one month to have another period show up two weeks later.
And to make matters worse, the “average-flow” period I experienced before the baby was replaced with one that was heavy AF. So, if you are a momma going through this right now, know that it may take a few cycles for your period to get back to normal.
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Pubic Hair Removal is a Personal Choice
Besides ensuring my bikini line wasn’t overgrown during swimsuit season, “woman scaping” wasn’t a hot topic in my household. There aren’t any health benefits to removing pubic hair, but if you prefer to be hair-free, remember that your skin in this area is sensitive.
If you shave, trim your hair first and apply shaving cream. Always use a new razor and shave in the direction your hair grows to prevent razor burn, cuts, itching, and ingrown hairs.
If you use an over-the-counter depilatory or cream hair remover, read the product label first since not all “depilatories” are safe to use on your vulva or “bikini line.”
If waxing is your thing, make sure the wax isn’t too hot and avoid shaving before waxing since this can irritate your follicles and cause ingrown hair. Better yet, get it done at a reputable salon or spa. You deserve self-care.
Vaginal Health and Hygiene
Now that I have a daughter, I’m trying to create a relationship where my “mini” feels comfortable asking questions, talking about her experiences, and expressing her emotions. This can only help her become a powerful woman comfortable in her own skin and secure with her vaginal health and hygiene practices.